Over the weekend, I ended up at the last place I would have thought I’d spend a Sunday afternoon: the Premier Bridal Show at Jackson Convention Center. I filled in as a writer, and accompanied freelance photographer Meredith Norwood for the event’s bridal fashion show.
I know that not every wedding is an over-the-top event, but I am intrigued and maybe even fascinated with the idea that two people make such monumental celebrations out of their life-long commitments to each other. While I have no plans on an engagement anytime soon, the expo offered a peak into a world I am completely unfamiliar with.
When I looked into the sea of brides-to-be, I wondered what it must feel like to make a million decisions over details from floral arrangements to caterers to venues and color schemes. I also wondered what their fiances were doing. Whatever they were doing, I’m sure it didn’t involve choosing between raspberry chiffon or paisley cream bridesmaid dresses.
Our focus on weddings this issue makes me think about the obligations and roles we take on as women, and how marriage defines us. I know lots of strong women who have equal partnerships with their spouse, and their relationship is all about empowering each other. But I also know women who define themselves solely by the title “wife” and lose sight of their own goals as they settled down. While the stigma of the traditional housewife isn’t as applicable to my generation, I still see this mentality in the South.
“Women of Mississippi: Moving Forward,” an annual report released in August by the Mississippi Commission on the Status of Women, noted that Mississippi is one of two states in the country that has never elected a woman governor or member of the U.S. Congress. Mississippi also ranked 49th for the number of women in elected office in 2004.
This statistic has stayed with me since I read it. I often bring it up in discussions with friends trying to understand why this is true. I recently spoke to two commissioners former Mississippi Supreme Court Justice Kay Cobb and former Democratic state Sen. Gloria Williamson from Philadelphia, on why women aren’t equally represented in our state.
Cobb and Williamson, both also wives and mothers, have slightly different takes. Cobb says that our state is deeply rooted in family values, and women here in the South are more likely to be the primary caretaker for their families. Cobb says she didn’t start her career until her children were old enough to take care of themselves.
Williamson says women have a difficult time raising money to start a political campaign. She says that women are less likely to contribute money to a political campaign even when the candidate represents them. Concerning family roles, Williamson points to a perception that women can’t manage a career and family responsibilities, adding that this isn’t always true.
“There is a notion that you can’t have both, but you can,” Williamson said. “There is this stigma that the woman’s place is in the home.”
The Mississippi Commission on the Status of Women is a vital organization to the future of women in our state. Formed in 2001 by the state Legislature, it consists of 13 appointed unpaid commissioners from various parts of the state.
The commission wrote the 2008 report “Women and Child Support in Mississippi: Time For A Change,” which reveals the challenges and inequalities women face when they have sole custody of their children. For instance, the average payment for child support is less than $600 a year, mainly because of lack of enforcement. Also the current child-support payment formula doesn’t reflect annual adjustments for inflation unless court ordered.
This week, the commission hosted a free legal seminar for women in Meridian for issues such as child custody, child-support payments, domestic violence and divorce. The seminar gave women the opportunity to understand complex laws and empower themselves despite their situations. Williamson says this seminar is a starting point to hosting several more throughout the state.
Unfortunately, the future of the commission is uncertain. In his proposed budget, Gov. Haley Barbour zeroed out funding for the commission. While commissioners are unpaid, the organization needs funding for a part-time director, Web site maintenance, and the ability to issue reports and host legal seminars. With a $360 million budget shortfall, cutting the commission’s $50,000 budget would make little impact on the state’s budget woes.
Williamson says currently the commission is the one of the only government bodies collecting and releasing data about Mississippi women. Cobb pointed out that while the commission started in 2001, they didn’t receive any funding until 2007. While the commission was able to function without funding, it was limited in its capacity to conduct studies and reach out to the public.
While there is a long road ahead in Mississippi, women have made significant strides over recent decades. We have more educated women and more women serving in public office than in the past. We still have our work cut out for us, though.
Changing the status of women comes through awareness and advocacy. Several woman’s organizations throughout the state are working for similar purposes: the Mississippi Women’s Fund, Mississippi Foundation for Women, Center for Violence Prevention and the National Organization for Women, Mississippi chapter, just to name a few. But we can’t afford to lose any resources or momentum.
The Commission on the Status of Women is one of our most important resources, and while it may be a thorn in the side of Barbour—a leader who shows little concern over equality for women—it serves as a voice for our future.
Previous Comments
Cobb’s comment about “family values” reminds me of something one of my professors used to say: More times than not, “family values” is just code for keeping women in their place. Why do women have so little political power in Mississippi? Because the state is both politically and socially conservative. Conservatives have always opposed the empowerment of women.
#155027 | Author: Brian C Johnson | Date: Jan 13 2010
[quote]Conservatives have always opposed the empowerment of women.[/quote] to quote Slashdot,The Straight Dope,et al, “Cite?” It’s a nice article, and one that bears thinking on. Brian’s kneejerk condemnation out of left field isn’t a great place to start debate.
#155028 | Author: Ironghost | Date: Jan 13 2010
Lacey, Does the Commission have any plns to go after private funding to continue its’ much needed work? I’ll donate! An enlightened and progressive feminine (nuturing, compassionate, collegial and relationship centered) voter base could be enough to turn the 55/45 election margin around from Old South to New South thinking and policies.
#155040 | Author: FrankMickens | Date: Jan 13 2010
I don’t know Iron, there’s the Equal Rights Amendment, which conservatives killed. There is the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition, both conservative organizations that generally opposed women working outside the home. Lest you claim that all my examples are dated, there’s the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which nearly every Republican, including the two senators from Mississippi, opposed in 2009. And then, closer to home, we have Barbour’s pathetic record on domestic violence and now funding for the Commission on the Status of Women. This list could go on and on. Are not “family values” a core conservative political commitment? Haven’t family values always been in opposition to feminism? Please do explain.
#155092 | Author: Brian C Johnson | Date: Jan 14 2010
ERA: it couldn’t get passed by it’s original deadline, much less the Unconstitutional one later granted it. I don’t think Conservatives had much to do with the dem’s legal desperation falling short. MM&CC Feh. I don’t defend narrow minded people. If you’ve got chapter and verse where they explicitly proclaim their opposition to women’s rights, quote it. Ledbetter: I’m lost on why that failed. I support equal pay regardless of considerations. Barbour: He’s a loon. Commission on the Status of Women: I’m for it. I’m out of time right now. You can assume there’s at least one conservative who disagrees with your blanket condemnation of conservatism.
#155109 | Author: Ironghost | Date: Jan 14 2010
