This afternoon Arlen Specter (R-Pennsylvania) announced he is joining the Wu-Tang Clan, a prominent, loosely organized group of hardcore rappers that first formed in the early ’90s.
At a press conference with all 9 original members, including the RZA, GZA (pronounced “Rizza” and “Jizza”) and Method Man, a visibly disoriented Specter read from a prepared statement:
“My life had got no better, same damn ‘Lo sweater. Times is rough and tough like leather,” said the senior senator of his 29-year membership with the GOP. “I figured out I went the wrong route. So I got with a sick tight clique and went all out.”
After Specter finished reading his statement, the members of the Wu took questions.
“We’re just happy to have Mr. Specter on board,” said Ghostface Killa, who because of the room’s low-lying cloud of smoke was barely visible. “When he contacted my office this morning, what else could I tell him but ‘Welcome Aboard!”
“It’s hard to argue with 29 years of Senate experience,” said the ghost of Ol’ Dirty Bastard. “In this economy, even a multi-platinum, grammy-nominated super group needs as much help as possible.”
The press conference ended abruptly after Inspectah Deck lambasted the press corps for its overreporting of Somali pirates, Obama’s new dog, and the Swine Flu “pandemic” in the middle of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.
Bryan Doyle is a freelance writer currently living in Washington, D.C. Contact him at bryan.doyle15[at]gmail.com
Previous Comments
WU TANG CLAN AIN’T NOTHIN’ TO F*CK WITH! In addition, the Wu would like to make it known that we will be formally welcoming our new member with a tea reception in the Mural Room of the White House. Press credentials will be issued at a later date. Thank you, and have a nice day.
#146401 | Author: raekwonthechef615 | Date: Apr 28 2009
Only if the ODB were around to see this.
#146411 | Author: golden eagle | Date: Apr 28 2009
Nice, Bryan. (This post has gone viral–responsible for the crazy traffic of the last couple hours.)
#146423 | Author: DonnaLadd | Date: Apr 28 2009
Ladd, be careful with the “v” word. People is ready to panic.
#146427 | Author: WMartin | Date: Apr 28 2009
Wait………………………………..can you do this? ha
#146428 | Author: …. | Date: Apr 28 2009
Good point, WMartin. Any excuse for stress, I suppose.
#146429 | Author: DonnaLadd | Date: Apr 28 2009
Thx Donna et all. One of the few scenarios where a dual love of politics and early 90s rap actually comes in handy. More on the way I hope.
#146435 | Author: bryan doyle | Date: Apr 29 2009
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