[Stiggers] Afrocentric Ghost of Kwanzaa Present

Funkee Fanger Productions presents these wonderful DVDs and videos for this holiday season!

“Terminator 2003: No More Token Minorities” is an exciting sci-fi-reality-docu-drama starring Gov. Arnold Swarzenegger as he attempts to terminate college prep courses in predominately minority schools. Michael Jackson makes a cameo appearance as convicted pedophile “Touchie Feelie.”

“Codename: Turkey Day Surprise” features the acting debut of Condoleeza Rice, “Codename: Harriet Tubman 2003,” and Colin Powell, “Codename: Nu Millennium Frederick Douglass,” as they help M.C. George Bushy sneak into Iraq via Air Force One, “Codename: The Stealth Underground Railroad,” to visit American troops during Thanksgiving. Lynne Cheney delivers a poignant standard English introduction for this action spy thriller.

“Cincinnati Police’s Greatest Hits,” hosted by Rodney King, is a knock-em-down, beat-em-up, kick-em-in-the-ribs, stab-em-jab-em-club-em, reality video thriller. Michael Jackson makes a cameo appearance as convicted pedophile “Touchie Feelie.” O.J. Simpson performs various low-speed driving stunts. WARNING: This video contains violent scenes and strong language not suitable for young viewers and black urban professionals. Discretion is advised.

“An African-American Santa Celebrates Kwanzaa: A Tale of Two Holiday Celebrations” is a story about a black Santa Claus torn between Christmas and Kwanzaa. The “Ghetto Ghost of Christmas Past” tries to convince the main character to be frivolous and overindulge during the holiday season while the “Afrocentric Ghost of Kwanzaa Present” encourages the main character to be wise and practice the seven principles of Kwanzaa ranging from unity to faith. The future depends on “Bruh St. Nick.” Lynne Cheney did not deliver a poignant standard English introduction for this video.

Happy holiday viewing!

Ken Stiggers is a television producer in Jackson.