Jackson Free Press logo

This story originally appeared in the Jackson Free Press. It was added to the Mississippi Free Press website in 2025.
Note that any opinions expressed in legacy Jackson Free Press stories do not reflect a position of the Mississippi Free Press or necessarily of its staff and board members.

This story ran two years ago, but on Valentine’s Day, with the war in Iraq and war over sexuality still both in heavy effect, I think it’s relevant.

This story, a piece from the NYTimes Modern Love column about a lesbian serving in Iraq, about hiding her sexuality.

It is really one of the most gorgeous columns I’ve ever read.

A snippet:

But I couldn’t do that. When I joined the Army in 2000 I had never anticipated any future need to censor my life, had never imagined the flesh and blood form in which my true love would one day appear. I had raised my hand and sworn the military oath to redeem a decade of debt, to escape the years of assembly lines, waitress aprons and janitor buckets that had kept me afloat. Thanks to the Army, I had just received a degree in English, and for this I was grateful.

Like my country, teetering on the edge of a war with unknowable costs, I had decided to borrow now and pay later. As I saw it, I owed for what I had received, and it would be a sniveling, wimpy misuse of my love to back out just when the bill was due to my country and the men and women I served with. I did not really buy the bill of goods they’d sold everyone to star-and-spangle our reasons for pre-emptive invasion, but I had sworn to obey my commander in chief.