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We admit it. Doctor S is obsessed with uniforms. With the threats that pour in every year (especially from Hattiesburg) after his SWAGs, you’d think he was dissin’ the quarterback’s grandmama or something. No, but he does believe that the way a man dresses matter.

«DO: Keep rocking those dreadlocks. Just keep your helmet on when it matters. Oh, and WINNING is like the perfect little black dress. Of a fashion.

»DO: Remember that in football, it’s all about swagger and confidence. Coach Nutt has that part figured out, anyway.

«DON’T: You know what they say: Keep the eye on the ball, not on the bling.

»DO: Now that they have the bothersome logo problems solved, Ole Miss has achieved uniform perfection. As for State, the new maroon helmets make it imperative to avoid all-maroon uniforms when they play in Starkville.

«DON’T: Going green is trendy, but looking plain-old-plain ought to be against the law.

»DON’T: That is not gold, it is yellow. It is ugly. And when the Eagles go the all-yellow or all-black route, they scare small children. Or at least Doctor S.