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This story originally appeared in the Jackson Free Press. It was added to the Mississippi Free Press website in 2025.
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Ghetto Science Home and Garden Television presents “Pimp My Living Space.” Join Grandma and Grandpa Pookie as they help you change your dump into a more livable dump.

Grandma Pookie: “Dire economic circumstances have forced Miss Wanda, part-time senior greeter and fry cook at Crunchie Burga World, to live in a one-room apartment at a senior living complex. She struggles just to survive in meager accommodation.”

Grandpa Pookie: “When I see folk like Miss Wanda living almost like a prisoner, I am sad. Two-thirds of her monthly Social Security check pays the rent and utilities; the remaining one-third pays for medicine and insurance. She barely has enough grocery money and bus fare.”

Grandma Pookie: “Whenever I enter Miss Wanda’s bland apartment furnished with a couch, coffee table, king-size bed, dresser, refrigerator, stove and a complimentary microwave oven, I pull out my crying towel and weep tears of sympathy.”

Grandpa Pookie: “So with assistance from Jojo’s Discount Dollar Store, Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket, Rev. Cletus Car Sales and Nurse Tootie McBride, Grandma and I will pimp Miss Wanda’s living space.”

Grandma Pookie: “We’ll spice up the apartment with framed pictures, tablecloths, lamps, curtains and two widescreen TVs; stock the refrigerator with food and provide transportation services and medical care.”

Grandpa Pookie: “And Cootie McBride will give legal support when needed.”

Grandma Pookie: “Remember: In an uncaring society, a decent living space is a very nice place.”

Previous Comments

Gee, wouldn’t that make a cool episode of Trading Spaces!